Monday, December 20, 2010

Why I love 2010

Wow, y'all. 2010 was kind of amazing. Nothing super significant or groundbreaking, but just fun stuff in music and in life in general. Do you agree?

Some of the reasons that 2010 was one of my favorites:

- Bruno Mars & B.o.B. Separate and together.

- THE RETURN OF USHER!!!

- Drake and his fancy-ness.

- Sara Bareilles' sophomore album- nothing sophomoric about it.

- "Deuces"- Chris Brown's redemption which had nothing to do with Chris Brown.

- indie returns from Arcade Fire AND The National! MY FAVESIES! Plus, they TOURED. AND I SAW THEM (saw Sara Barielles, too!).

Just saying, it was kind of an awesome year. Plus, I got snowed in with my bestie, lvd, got a new job that I can more than just tolerate but actually LIKE, and only went to TWO weddings NEITHER of which I had to buy a dress for! I WIN!

Also, Very Mary Kate kind of made my year. My roommate and I even dressed up like MK and Ashley for Halloween:

So where to begin? Okay, I loved everything Bruno Mars and B.o.B did this year. I was, of course, introduced to both of them together with this song


Then Bruno sang another hook on "Billionaire" with Travie McCoy, then every girl's dream song "Just the Way You Are" (because what girl doesn't like to be told she's perfect?) and I even kind of like his latest: "Grenade" just because his voice is very pretty and passionate.

I don't love that "Marry You" song that Glee covered, but I do love Glee, ergo, I kind of like that song.

As for B.o.B, he had Airplanes with Hayley Williams and while it was SO overplayed, it had this part 2 version feat. Eminem and we know everything Eminem touches in 2010 has turned to gold, so...

Now for USHER. SCIENCE FACT: I love Usher. I know that has nothing to do with Science, but my friend Lo of @elandlo uses that phrase all the time and you should read their blog because they are hysterical.

Anywho, I was watching Behind the Music on VH1 on like the ONE and ONLY night I had to myself this year (at least since mid-way through the year when I decided to become a first year teacher!) and it was on USHER. And it reminded me of my love for him. I immediately downloaded every song since like 1996 and I do not regret my decision one bit.

LVD and I are a little disappointed that Usher is so autotuned these days 'cause he DOESN'T NEED TO BE but I'm just glad he's back. The DJ does indeed have me falling in love again...just saying.

Since I am a teacher now, I try to be the cool fun teacher and incorporate pop culture and just pray to God that I am not emulating Gwenyth Paltrow's character on Glee.

One day some of my students came up to me saying: "Ms. S! Ms. S! We are going to see Drake this weekend!"

I respond (without missing a beat): "Nails done, hair done, everything did?"

And they immediately respond: "Oh, you Fancy, huh?!"

It was a proud moment for me. I love this song.

Okay, so LVD and I have written before of our love for S.B. and how we want to be her. Her second album came out this year and I think I can speak for LVD when I say we were a little afraid for Sara. We just loved "Little Voice" so. much. Would the second attempt be as good?

I heard "King of Anything" on the radio and cheered. It was a hit! But would the whole album be as good? I admit, when I downloaded it, I wasn't in love with every song. BUT THEN I SAW HER LIVE. And it was amazing.

LVD told me Sara B. had written Kaliedoscope Heart with live performance in mind. After seeing her perform these songs live, the album made sense to me. Well done, Sara B. Well done.

Speaking of returns...I don't think anyone was hoping for a Chris Brown return anytime soon. But I was driving home one day listening to the R&B station which I am known to do from time to time and I hear Drake, Kanye, and Andre 3000 drop all these crazy-funny-awesome verses and I am like, "what is this song?! And how soon can I download it?!" I didn't know who was singing the hook, and I really didn't care. Come to find later it is actually a Chris Brown song. Oops.

Deuces Up, Chris Brown. Thumbs Up as well.

It was wayyyy smart on his part to make his come back with these heavy hitters (no pun intended!! Okay, maybe) because who is hotter than Drake or Kanye right now? And everybody loves Andre 3000, right? Who doesn't love "Hey Ya?"

Lastly, I've said time and time again I love me some indie rock. Two of my fave bands- The National and Arcade Fire- came out with outstanding albums (High Violet and The Suburbs respectively)and then they toured. I don't know what else to say...

This year ruled. My hopes for 2011? Justin Timberlake finally makes a new album and T.I. can be released from (and stay out of!) jail. That would make my year!

Happy holidays, Happy 2010, and Happy New Year!

Deuces,
Julia

Friday, December 17, 2010

Remember the Night

Hello, all 8 of you! Laura here. Check this out:



How can I say this without sounding completely shameless?

That song is my band, the Understudies. Those guys are my second family and I love them with all my heart.

Christmas has come early for me, as this song just hit iTunes. I'm so proud I want to cry. I'm so excited I want to run a marathon.

This video is a tribute that was made using our song. If you or someone you know are good at making slideshows/videos, we should talk. ;)

Hope you enjoy, and Merry Christmas!

Love,
Laura

Thursday, December 2, 2010

GRAMMEEZZZ!

Hopefully this year's show won't actually bring to life those extra ZZZ's I added...we had our moments last Jan, didn't we Laura?

So, Laura's post "got me all guh" about the Grammys, y'all. (I'm almost POSITIVE that I'm using that phrase wrong because I think that means it makes me angry. Which the Grammys don't.) Though the Grammys do kind of give me a headache because of what Laura said: those 47 blogposts this past January were no. joke.

I really liked last year's Grammys. I still get a little weepy when I see bits of Gaga and Elton's duet/mashup of Speechless and Your Song...are we surprised? And a joke about Pink hanging from a ribbon from the ceiling still makes me giggle.

What DID get me all guh last year at the Grammys was Taylor Swift and her inability to sing live and yet sweep up Grammys.  But girl can write, so I'll give her that.

I'm hoping (as Laura said) that the pendulum does swing the other way this year, and by the looks of the Record of the Year contenders, it's going to be a hip-hop year. Buzz is already surrounding Eminem to take home many awards, which I believe he deserves. (Also, I just don't want to mess with him or get him all guh, if you know what I mean. Might end up in a song or something in which I end up figuratively six feet under...)

I also hope Em, B.o.B, Bruno Mars, Rihanna, and others take home awards because that Lady Antebellum song (though I secretly love it) kind of makes me want to slit my wrists. I know that is UBER insensitive of me, but it- like Michael Buble's "Just Haven't Met You Yet"- taunts me with its sweet vocals yet all-too-truthful lyrics. You feel me fellow drunk, single girl whose tempted to text an ex a quarter after one? DON'T DO IT!

Whomp Wah. Okay. Moving on.

SO EXCITED about the Record of the Year category!!! Each one of those that Laura listed is unique yet similar in some ways. And I love them ALL!

I have to laugh about Cee-Lo. One of my Tweeps and personal friends who- is amazing but usually a year or two behind when it comes to pop music- actually sent me the original, unedited version of this song before it came out on radio (No kidding. She also called me semi-recently to discuss Akon's "Sexy Chick" which has been out for a good year plus :) I was so proud of her for this early find! ;)

So this song holds a special place in my heart. Plus, Cee Lo can sing, brings character to the piece, its got an old-school 50s feel...etc, etc.

AND it was done on Glee! Brilliantly, of course :) Though I still can't decide if Gwenyth Paltrow is the true triple threat we all want her to be, but that's another blog for another time....

Next, I'm pumped that Arcade Fire is nominated for Album of the Year! It won't win, but its awesome that it is nominated. I fell in love with Arcade Fire back in the day when their album Funeral came out. I wasn't as into Neon Bible, their next album, but The Suburbs that came out this year is truly different than other things they've done and also very enjoyable. Not to mention it has a socially conscious commentary. Definitely check it out.

Gah! Guh! Whathaveyou! Now I can't wait 'til January! Also, lvd- we gots to make our lists for own personal albums of the year! Sara Bareilles, anyone?! I think so!

Now you've gone and done it, lvd. Apparently mention of the Grammys is all it takes. Now I'll be back to blogging again...win?

Peace,
Julia

Happy Birthday, Princess of Pop!


So my girl Laura has been all over and up and in this blog piece of late. Sniff, sniff... I'm so proud! You know what I've been doing? TEACHING. (Not that my girl Laura's not- she's also a teacher-but she's a veteran! She conducts choirs and bands in her sleep. AND she gigs on the side!). I'm new at this game. And you know what? First-year teaching is HARD. Who knew? (other teachers raise hands.. ) Well, NOW you tell me ;)

Instead of blogging I now have to use my creative energy and efforts to make learning FUN. Whatevs.

Actually, my students may not realize or appreciate it, but I like to think my being a pop culture geek does give me some cred in the classroom. I have, afterall, assigned multimedia projects and assignments involving Twitter.

But, I digress.

You guys...Britney Spears turns 29 today!

What kind of pop blog would this be without honoring she who embodies all that is pop? The sweet, innocent Mickey Mouse upbringing? The mid-drift bearing provocative school-girl virgin turned bad girl? The slutty, scandalous reality show with loser back-up dancer husband/baby daddy???

I mean...

her vocal abilities? Dance? Moves?

Just kidding. She's an icon.

Like Madonna before her, she hasn't made her name based on her vocals or songwriting, but rather- her image, her commitment to performance, and ability to re-invent herself in ways that still both draws people's attention and gets them to buy records.

I don't know how they do it. I scoffed when Brit-Brit came out with a  "greatest hits" album at age 23 in 2004..but, by God, it is a party crowd pleaser. Or an in my car on the way to work pleaser. Or a I like to pretend I'm Britney a la Brittany Pierce in Glee pleaser (I totes love the Santana/Brittany "Me Against the Music" So brill).

Cheers to you, Brit-Brit! We are the same age! Here's to 29 going on fabulous :)

Peace,
Julia

Grammy Nominees 2010

Whoa! I guess sometime when we weren't looking, our blog turned one year old! Happy birthday, blog!

I know Julia is going to flinch when she sees this post. How do I know? Look to the right where you can see the number of blog posts every month. See how there's one or two a month, if that? (Don't judge. We have lives. Crazy busy lives. And we don't get paid to blog.) (Yet.)

Then, see how January has 47 posts??!

That was last year's Grammy awards, folks. And boy was it a marathon. Basically, both Julia and I were simul-blogging our stream of consciousness and posting at every commercial break. It was hours long, and intense. I may or may not have snapped at former roommates for talking over the winners. (Sorry, Johnny D!)

I can promise you that this year will be different. Nonetheless, I'd be remiss not to introduce the nominees and get you pumped about it.

Ready??

RECORD OF THE YEAR (aka a single song's award to the producers, engineers, mixers, and artist.Think engineering award or "Recording of the Year".)

Nothin' On You  - B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars


Love The Way You Lie - Eminem featuring Rihanna


F*** You - Cee Lo Green


Empire State of Mind - Jay Z & Alicia Keys


Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

I think the theme of this year is very cool, well-mixed piano parts. Think the catchy piano and drums on "Nothin' On You", the legato arpeggio on "Love The Way You Lie", Alicia's standard rhythmic seven chords on "Empire State of Mind", and the pretty, single-note countermelody on "Need You Now".

Then there's Cee Lo's "Fuck You".

What's that? You haven't heard of it?! Shame on you.

Here: Watch this. Quick. Before someone notices.



Don't worry. I won't tell on you.

Now that we're all on the same page, I'll move on to the other categories (we'll come back to this song momentarily):

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire


Recovery - Eminem


Need You Now - Lady Antebellum


The Fame Monster - Lady Gaga


Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

I still haven't forgiven the academy for last year's slight against Lady Gaga. (Sorry, Taylor.) It's well established that we are die-hard Gaga fans, and I'd love to see her prevail in this category. Then again, Eminem made a fantastic showing with Recovery and is better than ever, and Katy Perry's Teenage Dream is filled with gems. She gets consistently stronger, and has risen from a suspected flash in the pan to a real career artist. In case you missed it, see me gush about her here. And Arcade Fire?? How awesome to see them get such a huge nomination!

Maybe it's just me, but although I love Lady Antebellum, I suspect that last year's country album win will cause the pendulum to swing in another direction this year. But who really knows.

Finally, my favorite category of all time:


SONG OF THE YEAR

Beg Steal or Borrow - Ray Lamontagne, songwriter (Ray LaMongagne And The Pariah Dogs)

F*** You - Cee Lo Green, Phillip Lawrence & Bruno Mars, songwriters (Cee Lo Green)

The House That Built Me - Tom Douglas & Allen Shamblin, songwriters (Miranda Lambert)


Love The Way You Lie - Alexander Grant, Holly Hafferman & Marshall Mathers, songwriters (Eminem featuring Rihanna)


Need You Now - Dave Haywood, Josh Kear, Charles Kelley & Hillary Scott, songwriters (Lady Antebellum)


(Did you catch that? BRUNO MARS helped to write "Fuck You"? I just learned that today. The man can sing AND write.)

You have to love a song that rose to the mainstream despite the fact that it was far too profane to be designed for it. The melody is so damn catchy and upbeat despite it being a song about misery. I'm a sucker for intelligent contrasts like that. And with a vocal range like Cee-Lo's, the melody gets away with spanning more than an octave. In a time when it's trendy to write one-note hooks (Far East Movement's "Like a G6", Kevin Rudolph's "Let It Rock", Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"), a soaring, well-crafted melody is a breath of fresh air.

The rises and falls of the melody even coincide with what would actually get the emphasis in a spoken sentence:

"I see you driving round town with the girl I love, and I'm like, 'Fuck you!'
I guess the change in my pocket just wasn't enough, and I'm like, 'Fuck you!'"

When you speak these sentences out loud, which words get the emphasis? Probably the "fucks" first of all. Probably "change" and "pocket" and "driving" as well. It's no coincidence that these words end up being the highest peaks in the melody. It's intentionally designed to mimic a naturally spoken vocal inflection. That's why you can hear the attitude immediately.

Isn't that cool?? I'm such a geek for this stuff. Where are my musical theatre peeps at!?

Enough about the melody. Let's talk lyrics:

"I said I'm sorry / I can't afford a Ferrari
But that don't mean I can't get you there.
I guess he's an XBox / And I'm more Atari
But the way you play your game ain't fair"

Um, internal rhyme with "atari"/"Ferrari"? The video game metaphor? So damn clever. It's also not often you run across ABAB rhyme schemes in songs nowadays- AABB is far more common.

I'm not even going to mention the choir who comes in at just the right moment when the chorus is about to get repetetive, then changes their vowel sound just to heighten the energy for us once again. Or his versatile, expressive voice. It's just a well-written, well-executed song.

All of the nominees are more than deserving, but I'm clearly rooting for Cee Lo to win this one.

We'll see, I suppose! Now if @julz422 would just return my phone calls to live-tweet this thing. ;)

Love,
@lauravand

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Music Snob? Call me a Music Glutton.

Hey folks. Laura here. If you're reading this blog, there's a chance you know me in real life, but in case this blog gets passed along (and I do hope it does), let me introduce myself.

I have been playing the piano since I was seven. I was raised by a father who sings and plays guitar and a mother who sang the alto line to every hymn in church. Once, when I was five, my mom missed church, and my kindergarten brain thought it wasn't okay for that harmony to be missing. So I did it.

High school was voice lessons, dance classes, choirs and musicals. I earned a Bachelor of Music in college as a musical theatre major. Testing out of a couple years of music theory, I used my extra credits to study more piano. I picked up the guitar from a girl who lived down my hall and fell in love with it. I wrote songs when I was supposed to be writing papers. I wrote melodies when I was supposed to be practicing my scales. If I learned about a chord progression rule in class, I'd rush to a piano and write two songs; one that followed it, and one that broke it.

Currently I'm a music teacher by day, teaching piano, guitar, jazz band, choir, and theatre. By night, I'm in a band that's been gigging and recording like crazy in hopes you'll hear of us one day soon.

I live and breathe music. I think about it all day. I love the intentionally crafted melodies of theatre composers. I love the rock harmonies of the 80's bands. I geek out over harmonizing guitar solos. I'm melted by bluesy, gritty voices. I'm blown away by the technical expertise of metal drummers. Concert pianists. Opera singers. I tear up over vulnerable and honest songwriting. Secondary dominance and other borrowed chords? Stick a fork in me. I'm done.

I'm a musician, and a lover of soul-stirring music. I've sung Verdi. Danced Bob Fosse. Played Chopin. Analyzed Beethoven.


However, I can't turn off the top 40 station on my radio.


On my way to work, I'm rocking out to Gaga. As I warm up for opera night, I'm harmonizing to Katy Perry. On my way to band practice, I've figured out the chord progression to a top 40 hit, a teeny-bopper flash in the pan, and a rap song, knowing for certain that the guys will smile and roll their eyes at me when I get there.

So much for being a music snob.

Am I shooting holes in my credibility? Am I risking being taken less seriously as an independent musician? Am I hiding my classical roots? Am I coming across as unintelligent? Vapid? A sheep that is easily swayed by the ebb and flow of mass trends and media? Sometimes I'm afraid so.

But by the definition of what constitutes a top 40 hit, people have to be flocking to these songs. People are requesting them. Purchasing them. Demanding them. People can't get enough.


I found a CD of the Top Billboard Hits of 1969 when I was a teenager and put it in my stereo. My mom came into my room, singing. She knew all the lyrics, verbatim, despite the fact that she hadn't heard these songs in decades. She regaled me with tales of the summer she first heard "Crystal Blue Persuasion".

As a kid, I saw the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra at the Kennedy Center, and they had "Joy to the World" on the program for the Christmas Pops concert. The audience was delighted when instead of playing the traditional hymn, they started playing the hit by Three Dog Night.

Break out a pop song in a guitar, piano, or music theory class, and suddenly students that are having trouble with an abstract musical concept "get" what a I chord is. They've heard it a million times.

Michael Jackson was pop. The Beatles were pop. Hell, Lizst was pop.

In the year 2032, we're going to look back on the hits of 2010, and be instantly transported by the Far East Movement's "G6", regardless of the fact that the melody sits on the minor third the entire. effing. time.

I'm not going to turn it off.



These songs are time capsules. They're what's going on in our musical history right now. Someday, the very college kids that are using this as their new going-out anthem are going to be putting their children on the school bus.

These songs are conversation starters. Love Gaga or hate her, for damn sure you've talked about her. Whether or not she remains in the public eye for a good 20 years from now, we will all carry a distinct memory of when she first came on the scene. We'll remember where we were, what job we had, who we were dating.

Daniel Levitin wrote a book called "The World in 6 Songs: How the Musical Brain Created Human Nature." He argues that humans evolved alongside music for the sake of six societal needs: friendship, joy, comfort, knowledge, religion, and love.

Did you pick up on what all of these six themes have in common? Of course you did, because you're smart.


Other people.


When I'm playing a show for people who've never met me before, I give them a break from all the stories I've written, and I play something for them that it's likely they know. I've seen contemplative, even apathetic audiences become transformed by recognizing the opening guitar riff of a song they love.

As long as there is dancing, there will be pop music. As long as there are parties, there will be pop music. As long as humans enjoy hearing something familiar, as long as people want to sing along with a tune they know, as long as we are unified by what we love, there will be pop music.

So the next time you tell someone you're into music they probably "haven't heard of", consider why you're doing it. To prove you're cooler than they are? Congrats. You also just ended the conversation, and severed a potential connection with another human being whose story looks different than yours.

By no means should you stop supporting independent and local music. (Read: please, PLEASE, support independent and local music. I'm personally begging you.) ;) By no means should you stop challenging yourself by listening to the complexities of the masterworks, or pushing yourself to change up your composition formula. You should never stop learning, never stop playing more complicated pieces, never stop refining your musical palette by discovering new things.

But don't lie about the fact that you know all the words to Smashmouth's "All Star". We've all heard you singing it.

Love,
Laura

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Clumsy Foray into the World of TextSlide

Hello! I'm taking a break from our regularly scheduled pop music discussions to talk about a recent development in pop culture.

Being that it's still "pop," I'm going to run with it.

Today Mashable tweeted a link to an article about a brand new startup called TextSlide: a service that randomly links you to other users via SMS texting on your cell phone. You have a few simple commands: #start, which begins your session, #next, which pairs you up with a new user, and #stop for when you are finished. It doesn't give away your phone number, only your name and area code, so you can rest assured a perfect stranger won't walk away with your number.

The comparisons between TextSlide and ChatRoulette are obvious, yet the article promised that because TextSlide uses only SMS technology, users would be safe from unwanted pornographic images from other users. At the very least, if someone's language is profane or offensive, you can always #next them.

I never once desired to try ChatRoulette. Partly because I'd heard it was full of genitalia. Partly because I found something unsettling about random strangers being able to see me. I don't want to have to worry about what I look like when I'm browsing the internet.

But for a few reasons, random texts seemed okay. First of all, if I wanted to try it at the end of a long day and my makeup has worn off, I don't have to feel self-conscious. Secondly, Twitter has made it okay to engage in conversation with people we've never met- to share opinions, comment on current events, or bond over like interests. I love what Twitter has become and what it can do, and personally, as a compulsive Twitter checker, something about the real-time response appealed to me.

Thirdly, I'm an aspiring singer-songwriter, and am openly trying to increase my connections with people, whether through real life or social media. I find the more I share experiences with others and I the more of their stories I hear, the more perspective it grants me. Naturally, I'm looking to increase my network and ambitiously spread the word, and a couple more Twitter followers couldn't hurt, either.

I'm @lauravand, by the way. It's nice to meet you. ;)

I go to the TextSlide link to discover it's a portal where I enter my e-mail address and am told that they'll notify me when they go public. Have I been one of the first to jump on this bandwagon? By no means am I a social media guru, but I'm feeling pretty savvy at this point.

Imagine my elation when, a few moments later, I receive an email telling me I've been invited. I'd been doing some stalking of the creator's twitter feed, and saw people asking him for invitations. I feel like a bona-fide VIP.

After a few technical issues, I give in and tweet at Matt Hunter, who created TextSlide. He notifies me that the server is experiencing problems and he walks me through a few different tries via @replies, DM's, and finally an e-mail. I'm super impressed at his timeliness and super grateful for his help, especially considering that today's a pretty big day in his career. Thanks, Matt!

In no time I was up and running.

First I talked to Travis, who notified me that he was in San Diego. He knew right away that my 410 area code was a Maryland one, and he punctuates and capitalizes everything properly, so I immediately imagine him to be an in-the-know, up-on-current-events, detail-oriented type of guy. At the very least, I know he reads Mashable.

My suspicions are confirmed when he tells me that he does coding for the Department of Defense (at least I assumed that's what DoD stood for) and is "bootstrapping a startup in every other spare second". First of all, nice use of "bootstrapping." Second of all, um, awesome? I can relate to that level of ambition. I echo his syntax as I tell him I work during the day as a high school music teacher but I'm "bootstrapping a songwriting career in every other spare second." I like this TextSlide stuff already. It's connected me with like-minded, go-getting individuals.

I'm not entirely sure what happened next. I remember asking him what kind of startup he's working on, and he said "ide down for most musical genres".

Perhaps "ide" is some kind of technical term that I don't know. So much for priding myself on being one of the first to jump on this bandwagon. A panic-stricken trip to Google tells me it may stand for Integrated Development Environment, and I start to suspect I'm in over my head. Maybe I've jumped in too early, and this mystical place of TextSlide is still full of only media and computer people. I'm the lone renegade musician.

Either his startup has something to do with musical genres and I've hit the jackpot and found a random stranger on the west coast that can make me famous (if not for being GOOD, well then for being FIRST), or TextSlide cut off the first half of his sentence. I'm not sure which. He asks me if I have any demos.

I say yes, even though I'm somewhat ashamed how low-quality the recording and mastering is on our MySpace and on iTunes.  I'm more excited about this one that we have coming up soon:





but of course, I didn't send that link to him. Just the two-year old myspace page with our very very tinny two-year-old recordings.

This is when he doesn't talk to me for 30 more minutes. Two possibilities enter my mind:

1. He is so entranced by the myspace page that he's taking the time to check out our Facebook, our YouTube, our Twitter, and my own personal page.  He's going to get me in on the ground floor of whatever it is he's working on, the next Napster I imagine it to be. So naturally *I* give one more look to our band pages, and cringe at every edit I dream of making to our online presence. If only I'd waited until next month to join this TextSlide thing, when I'd have a much better-produced recording to send to people. If only I'd waited until we actually have a domain name. If only I'd waited until my songs are topping the iTunes sales. (Naturally, they shall.) If only. I'm left with the more realistic and far less imaginative alternative:

2. He's pressed #next on me. Being that this is my first time on TextSlide, I have no idea if the program notifies me. (I still don't... can anyone tell me?) I ask Travis if he has a Twitter account (shameless), and wait five more minutes. After no response, and a few crushed dreams of instant, if unrealistic, stardom, I type, "#next."

I talk to ceejay in atlanta about life for a bit. He doesn't capitalize consistently and uses abbreviations like "U 2", so I imagine him to be a laid-back type dude who's game for having a casual conversation. It comes out he has a motorcycle and he assures me that even though I'm only 5'2", I could handle a smaller bike like a 650cc. I have no idea what that means, and he helpfully gives me some things to google. We bond over traffic, then call it quits when he checks in at Buffalo Wild Wings. We trade Twitter handles, and I'm on to the #next.

(I'd like to pause and say that as an avid Twitter user and reader, I love that the code contains a hashtag.)

Next was Souke from Michigan, who graduated high school last year and is waiting another year to go to college due to some family issues. Even though it's an anonymous forum, her language is so intentionally vague that something tells me not to pry. We keep things light and I learn that she cheered in high school and is dreaming of being an interior designer or journalist. We bond over black and white Ikea furniture, trade Twitter names, and call it quits around dinnertime when my roommate comes home, and my boyfriend calls.

NOTE: At this point, I'm drawing the line at choosing TextSlide over actual human interaction. (At *this* point, mind you. I can see how potentially addictive it could become, and I have a couple faculty meetings in my future for which I have some less-than-honorable plans.) I type #stop, and my first TextSlide session is over.

I'm left with several thoughts on TextSlide: its potential is huge, certainly. I could connect with fellow musicians, gain Twitter followers, Facebook friends, kindred spirits. You can imagine the extension of this list and cater it to your own life: clients, street teams, sympathizers, supporters, listening ears, business contacts, anonymous recipients of heated rants.


Someone once claimed that the reason Twitter was so successful was because it was "communication with low expectations." You can just as easily use your 140 characters to say "I'm booooooooooorrrrrrreeeeeddddd" as you can to tweet a link and get your community to register to Walk for the Cure. The expectations are low, but the potential is extraordinarily high.

I can't "expect" anything lower than "random texting", and as I was reading the initial Twitter backlash, it seemed reminiscent of chatrooms in AOL circa '98 - a bunch of inappropriate sketchballs, or a load of unintelligent, one-word exchanges.

I'm refreshed and surprised to learn that the art of conversation is not lost, and that strangers can still be gracious and kind even when there's little to no accountability upon which to hang their behavior.

Does TextSlide have the potential to be inappropriate? Mundane? Graphic? Certainly. But that's why there's #next.

Tonight, I follow a couple more people on Twitter than I did before, and I'm energized by having lent a listening ear to a complete stranger or two. Perhaps TextSlide is what a pen pal looks like in 2010.

And just you wait. My music WILL be enormous.

Love,
Laura

Thursday, October 21, 2010

How I Fell In Love with Katy Perry

It's true. It's official. I love her.



This wasn't always the case, mind you. I was unimpressed with "I Kissed A Girl" when it came out. I wasn't shocked, myself. *I* consider myself reasonably hip and edgy, and I can appreciate a song with a little shock value. It sells!

But I WAS shocked on the behalf of my future grandchildren. No way do I want my grandkids thinking it's perfectly normal to go about kissing girls, or taking such a cavalier attitude towards physical affection. I don't care WHAT flavor their chapstick is.

Why I'm unconcerned for my imaginary children (their parents I suppose they'd have to be...) I haven't the foggiest. I haven't even considered their existence, really. Maybe I assume my imaginary children will also be hip and edgy. They can totally handle it. Or, maybe my imagination skips steps sometimes. Don't worry about it.

I digress.

It's natural for every generation to have a "kids these days" attitude towards the music of the generation following theirs. Our grandparents thought ELVIS was shocking. What must they think of Britney Spears, singing about threesomes? What must they even make of Ke$ha?

I saw "I Kissed A Girl" as a cheap ploy to generate buzz. "Waking Up in Vegas" was catchy, I'd give her that. But I still didn't hear a lot of talent. "Hot and Cold" - Eh. "California Gurls" - please. "gurls?" I was seeing very little substance, and a whole lot of gimmick.

THEN, I came across THIS:



She plays GUITAR? She WRITES? She's a DYNAMIC PERFORMER? With a GOOD SENSE OF PITCH?

The dancy singles of jumpsuits and wigs did you no justice, my friend. After a little bit more digging what I felt was this brand new artist in my eyes, I come to find that Alanis Morissette is one of her influences. ALANIS!




Well, well, well. Isn't THAT ironic. (#SeeWhatIDidThere)

I can totally hear it, too! The snarky writing style, the breathy flipping in an out of head voice (were you paying attention, kids?), the intentional jumping of the melody, embracing the break in her voice...

It was like the earth opened up and swallowed me whole as I gasped and admitted to myself, "My gosh. I am a FAN of Katy Perry."

Congratulations, universe. You win.

Also, it should be said that "Teenage Dream" is fantastic- with a writing credit by Bonnie McKee, whom I'm just now discovering and on whom you should also do a little digging. And I have it on good authority that "FIREWORK" will be even bigger.

You go, "gurl"!

Love,
Laura

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Very Dorky Discertation on Head Voice in Pop Music

I realize I'm beind the times on this one, but I was inspired by the VMA's to tell my students about the difference between head voice and chest voice.

Exhibit A: Rihanna.



I'm going to leave Eminem alone to focus on Rihanna's vocal.

(But you're not off the hook, Slim Shady. We have to have a discussion about your recent decision to sing your own hooks, and quick. Before Nelly releases anything else in 2010.)

If you scroll to about 2:50 in the video, you'll hear the distinctive hook on "Love The Way You Lie." This hook is FANTASTIC.

Only, hold on a second. What's this? Why do the words "stand" and "watch" sound like some poor kitten somewhere is in the process of going through puberty?

A singer has two places they can resonate their voice. The lower pitches resonate in the sternum of the body, and as the voice gets higher, the higher notes spin somewhere in the vicinity of your skull and cheekbones.

Kind of gross, right? Happy Halloween, bitches.

We call these two registers, simply, head voice and chest voice.



Hm. That was quite a convenient find. Thanks, Whitney. Dang. They sure don't make them like they used to.

To go back to the first video, Rihanna sings "just gonna" in her chest voice. More commonly put, she's belting. When she hits the pitch for "stand", she flips her resonance up into her skull.

Only, thank goodness for auto-tune. Because Rihanna, we could have used a little more height and spin on those upper notes. Make a more vertical space in your mouth by raising your soft palette (it's what happens naturally when you yawn). Now spin the sound there and bring it as far forward as you need to.

In your defense RiRi, it's a difficult passage to sing. It requires you to go from chest to head, back to chest, back to head, and back to chest again.

Next time, spend more time warming up, and less time skirt shopping with Sarah Jessica Parker.



I kid, I kid. In all honesty, I think she looked really cute, and she's got a powerful God-given instrument. However, we have the luxury of so much technology in the studio to make music RECORDING easier. Let's not become lazy and allow our live performances to become less than stellar.

Love,
Laura

P.S. - Rihanna is hardly the only person using her head voice. Check out Beyonce, Katy Perry, Regina Spektor, Alanis Morissette, Ingrid Michaelson and Imogen Heap for just a few others that like to use both registers.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Koncerned 4 Ke$ha


I'll admit it. When my car radio first digitally told me that I was listening to 'Tik Tok' by some new artist I'd never heard of named Kesha (my car apparently does not transmit dollar signs) I tweeted my girl @lauravand immediately. It was catchy. It was funny. It was different. She talked about waking up feeling like Diddy and brushing her teeth with Jack. Clever. I could already sense the presence of a new going-out anthem that I would embrace.

Then came "Blah, Blah, Blah" and I began to get concerned. Once again our new lovable artist is sing/autotune/talk-ing about meeting her in the back with Jack, but this time, with "no pants on" (holler).

Now, I myself will never go anywhere without pants, but I'm not one to judge. I have stated my love for Lady Gaga time and again who is notoriously never wearing pants. But for some reason, it is different with Gaga. She expresses herself without pants but also with...I don't know...talent. Our girl Ke$ha does not necessarily have the latter going for her.

"Your Love is My Drug" came along and I just could not take it anymore. This girl needs my help. While, this song actually does have something artistically relevant going for it- she carries the the 'drug' metaphor successfully throughout the song:

What you've got boy, is hard to find. I think it about it all the time. I'm all strung out, boy, my heart is fried...

Is she talking about drugs? Is she talking about love? The images go pretty perfectly with each. When you can seamlessly insert both images, I believe that makes a good metaphor. (Also, I appreciate that on her album she carries the dollar sign throughout with songs like: D.I.N.O.$.A.U.R. and BACK$TABBER. If you are going to be crazy, at least be consistent, that's what I say).

But she loses the metaphor (and me) with her breakdown section where she starts talking about slumber parties in basements and beards. She has given us mature metaphors, but then suddenly we are reminded that...oh wait...this is still Ke$ha.

And why all the drug/drinking talk, girlfriend? You haven't even been famous for that long, and you won't be if you keep these habits up! Humph!

"Party at Rich Dude's House" (yes, that is a song title. I can't decide whether to applaud her for her straightforwardness and simplicity or shun her for lack of creativity. Oh wait. I've decided. The latter. $eriou$ly?!) has our heroine vomiting in closets with no pants on AGAIN.

So I am concerned for Ke$ha. I really wanted to like her. But then I listened to her cd (thanks, @PkMikeyT!) and not only does she legit sample that schoolyard song we used to taunt boys with: "there's a place in France where the naked ladies dance" (see "Take it Off"- AGAIN with the pantslessness and nakedness!), you can also sing/talk/autotune "Your Love is My Drug" over pretty much every song on that album because they all sound the same.

"Maybe I need some rehab..."- Ke$ha, Your Love is My Drug

"Maybe" is no longer an option, honey. That went out a long time ago when you sang that hook with Flo.Rida's awful song about unmentionable acts (this blog is PG). Your song, "Hungover" (YES! THIS IS A TITLE OF A TRACK! NOW YOU UNDERSTAND MY CONCERN?!) makes me want to cry for you, friend!

So let's wipe that glitter out of your eye and pull you up by your boots (and boy) strap (a title of a song I REALLY wanted to like: "Boots and Boys". Because I LIKE Boots and Boys! I do not like this song, however) and get you on the right track.

Which is nowhere near a track called "Party at Rich Dude's House" or "Hungover".

You are welcome.

Sincerely,
Julia

Monday, May 24, 2010

Hip-Hop-Pop's Way with Words featuring Ludacris

"Watch out for the medallion, my diamonds are wreckless. It feels like a MIDGET is hanging from my necklace." - Ludacris, "Stand Up"

God bless America, Ludacris has made a comeback. My friends and other middle to upper-middle class white twenty-somethings are rejoicing everywhere. We did, after all, grow up with Ludacris. He held all of our undergraduate anthems like: "Move", "What's Your Fantasy", and "Money Maker".

Can't you just see a frat boy with a dirtied, off-white backwards cap cruising around campus right now thinking he is the SHIZ-NIT!?


You think I'm kidding, but alas, I am not.

Anyways, so imagine my GLEE (it's only a matter of time before that show gets its hands on some Luda) when I turn on the radio (after my Lenten hiatus) and hear that Luda is EVERYWHERE. The pop stations. R&B stations. If he'd made a rock or country song, he'd BE THERE.

And I love Luda because he has a way with words like no one else. Maybe Eminem. But Eminem is SO. SERIOUS.



In the words of The Joker, Why So Serious??

Luda, however, is famous for lyrics like the above quote and also gems like these from his latest: "My Chick Bad"

"My chick bad, tell me if you seen her, She always bring the racket like Venus and Serena"

and

"She knock a b**** out annnnd fight. Coming out swinging like Tiger Woods' wife"

See what he did there? Pop culture references for the win. Clever, my friend, Luda. Always Clever.

It kind of reminds me of Lil' Wayne's gem in my #songIhavenoreasontolike from long ago- "Down":

"'Cause honestly I'm down like the economy"

Cultural relevance for the win! I love it.

Now the rest of Luda's "My Chick Bad" is not quite as clever or classy:

"And when we all alone, I might just tip her. She slides down the pole, like a certified stripper"

Come on, Luda! You are better than that. You are not just Ludacris from "Area Codes" you are also Chris Bridges from Oscar winning films like Crash!

But your song "Ho" is still clever and awesome, albeit not classy, so we will give it to you:

"Why you think you take a ho to a ho-tel?...Reach up in the sky for the ho-zone layer

Ah, it kills me ;)

I would also like to take this opportunity to discuss the recent developments in hip-hop pop vocabulary. It occurred to me just the other day that hip-hop-poppers are starting to get a little more verbose (or are at least using a thesaurus. I mean, I would. Not all of us can rhyme "tip her" and "stripper" all the time...)

Take for example another Luda-colabo: Taio Cruz's "Break Your Heart" (and for the record, while this is a somewhat arrogant message on Mr.Cruz's part- "I'm only going to break-break, oh break-break your heart"- at least the dude's honest):



"No point trying to hide it. No point trying to evade it"

I don't know why, but I love that they use the word evade there. It would be a high scoring word in Scrabble, right? (Maybe not, I never play Scrabble). And while I'm pretty sure "evade" is just another fancy way of saying exactly what Taio just said, kudos for using a new vocab word.

Unlike Sean Kingston in "Eenie Meenie" (with Justin Beiber- SWOON!) who literally just re-instates what he just. said. :

"She's indecisive. She can't decide."

Yup, that's what indecisive means, Sean. No creativity points for you.

You know Luda would've come up with some culturally relevant way of saying it. I can see it now:

"She's as indecisive as Prince with his name change"


...clearly I'm not Ludacris. Don't worry, I won't quit my day job. Sigh. If only...

Peace,
Julia

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Evolution of Emo

This is a pop blog and I think it is important to recognize all that pop encompasses. Pop music is really just whatever is popular at the time, though I think it's come to mean bubblegum beats with trite lyrics...



...Justin Beiber anyone? Oh, man. This article is great if you are looking for a mock-analysis of Justin Beiber....

But I digress.

Pop music has been many things through the years. Sometimes rock, sometimes folk. Sometimes rap, sometimes country. (And, yes, sometimes- A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock and Roll. Though whomever thought Donny Osmond was Rock and Roll. Really?)

But what happens when something meant to be non-conformist becomes mainstream?

I'm thinking punk. I'm thinking grunge. I'm thinking folk. All three genres started out kind of revolutionary but became- in their own way- "pop".

Emo? Revolutionary?

Nothing revolutionary about shutting yourself in your bathroom to "scream infidelities", I say.



Well As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone
Making out.
- Screaming Infidelities, Dashboard Confessional.

Ah, I see what you did there...

Emo may be under the guise of something indie or revulotionary but only because of its angst, I think. This is my critique on hipsters as well- a movement that guises itself as something non-mainstream but is in fact ultimately just that.


I don't care how clever or ironic you think your outfits or your beer are. PBR is just gross. Humph.

And wouldn't you know Emo music is the First Stage in the evolution of a hipster?

But where did Emo come from? Is it pop? Is it grunge? Is it punk?

I would say emo is more pop than anything else because if we are taking the definition of pop music to be self-indulgent and trite, it's that. But if we are taking it to mean music that is mainstream and marketable...oh, wait. It's that too.

While people who listen to emo may think they are so different and against the grain, I would not say they are revolutionary. Folk music was revolutionary. It was popular (folk and folklore by definition is 'of the people'...) but it still went against the grain even without being musically abrubt. Hippies and folk artists of the 60s preached their revolutionary message of peace with a peaceful musical movement.

The punk music of the 80s also had some crossover appeal, despite its anti-establishment themes. I'm thinking the Clash, Sex Pistols. Bands that became popular and ironically similar in theme to folk music, however obviously not musically similar. A different approach to the "damn the man" concept. Anger just replacing peace and love, really.

Then we have the 90s. Ah, the 90s. The grunge movement was revolutionary perhaps not in message, but in lifestyle and musical achievement. I would say that emo probably has its roots somewhere in grunge. A type of music that is a little bit self indulgent, kind of whiny, and involves wearing flannel and jeans. But grunge was at least still about society and culture. Even if it was getting a little bit softer around the edges ( ie, Live, Soul Asylum, Nirvana, Hole...the message is there, but no ones burning bras or flags because of it).

So, if we are keeping track:

60s folk= whiny, but pretty.
80s punk= whiny, but loud.
90s grunge= whiny, but empathetic.
00s emo= just plain whiny

(oh, and the 70s have been eliminated because disco was pretty much the antithesis of all things revolutionary. However, does it thereby make it actually the MOST revolutionary? Hmmm...)



Now that I think about it...emo is probably as indulgent, if not moreso than disco....

Well, there you have it, folks. Emo actually gets its roots from disco. And well, that actually kind of explains alot. The End.

Peace,
Julia

Monday, March 22, 2010

An Open Letter to Colbie Caillat

Dear Colbie!!

I was driving to work this morning listening to "Bubbly", and I have to thank you for something HUGE!

Please ignore the exclamation points, it's just that I can't write your name in this font with little hearts to dot my i's! I feel that's the only appropriate way to address you!

Anyway, Colbie (maybe it's the cutesy "ie" at the end of your name that makes me crave excessive punctuation), I have been struggling to write songs lately! I have three or four killer hooks in my back pocket, some pretty insightful verses, but simply not enough text to create a fully fleshed-out idea!

Then the part of "Bubbly" comes on where you go: (and I quote)

Da da doom do da da da da da da
dum da da da da da da
doom da doom da do do do do do do do do do
do oo ooooh

And can I just say, you are a genius!! Little did I realize, my songs are already DONE! I just forgot about that little trick right there. It's like the musical equivalent of the white rice in a Chipotle burrito! Does it add substance? No! Does it make the song longer? YES! So thank you so much for making my job ten times easier! Not only have I instantaneously finished the five or six half-written ones I've been mulling over, I've also created THREE entirely new ones that consist completely of nonsensical syllables! And BOY ARE THEY CATCHY!

Forgive me, Colbie. You're very pretty and you're about as skilled as me on the guitar, which makes me hate that you have a record deal. (Unfortunately, for you, guitar is not my primary instrument.) Sour grapes as usual. I still love pop music (stay tuned for my discertation on "Bedrock"), slash envy you for being able to sing that "Lucky" duet with my future husband, Jason Mraz. So kudos for that! You understand, girl.

XOXO!!!

Laura

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Grammy Hangover

I can't speak for Laura, but I know after that bout with live-blogging, my head was spinning like Pink from a couple of ribbons in the sky.

So many performances! So many questions left unanswered:

1.) what were those dancing washing machines with the Black Eyed Peas?

2.) why did the Grammys turn into a 90s love fest?

3.) why did Taylor Swift sound so bad live but still win so many Grammys?

I have all these answers and more friends.

I will first address the 90s memorabilia. Truth is, kids, the 90s was, oh 20 years ago now and that makes them VINTAGE. And we all know Vintage is IN, ergo, the 90s= IN. However, as for 90s vintage fashion? I'm not sold. The 90s were known for the 'grunge' look and we have seen the likes of 'recycled grunge', if you will, on hipsters and in Urban Outfitters stores everywhere.



Guess it's time for me to go back into the back of my 8th grade closest. We wore 'em baggy back then, but maybe it will be fitted now and I'll 'fit' right in. ha.

The biggest thing I took away from the Grammys- and I know, I know I am BIASED- was that Lady Gaga got robbed. Kind of like her current Olympic counterpart in flamboyant fashion crime: Johnny Weir (If you haven't seen this article, it is a WIN)



(Also, if you google images of 'hipsters' and 'Johnny Weir' you will be thoroughly entertained, I promise).

Now, I do love Taylor Swift. I think she is a talented songwriter, especially at such a young age. As mentioned in previous posts, my songwriting skills are non-existent, and if they did exist, they would be 'roundabouts the likes of Colbie Calliat (Starts in my toes, nose, grows, shows, hoes...you know ;).

So kudos to her. I also think she is such a breath of fresh air IMAGE wise. Too many young songbirds turn into psychosluttyhosebeasts (I'm looking at you Britney, Jessica, Mandy, Christina, Katy, Miley, Mariah...sheesh!) Taylor keeps it CLASSY. And for this I am GRATEFUL.

BUT

as for 'Album of the Year'??

Where is the innovation in Fearless? How is "You Belong to Me" any different than "Love Song" than "Teardrops on My Guitar" than "Fifteen"? All cutesy teenagey songs doing that pop-country-crossover thing (which I should also say I'm not totally sold on, btw. I really, really tried to like country once or twice. Namely when I had a crush on a guy who listened to country in high school. I taped every Shania, Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson, and LeAnn Rimes song off the radio old-school mix tape style. And he still never liked me. And I still never liked pop-country. So there ;)

Gaga, on the other hand, has really changed the music industry in many ways. I know I said this during the live blog, but it almost seemed like every musical act after her was trying to BE her with over the top performance art performances. Shoot, even watching ice-dancing this year on the Olympics has a smack of Gaga for me:



What the what?! And Gaga gets mocked for her attire?!

I know Gaga's fashion and performance art doesn't have anything to do with her ability to write a good album. And I will give you there is nothing extraordinarily genius about repeating 'pa pa pa poker face' over and over again. But "Paparazzi" sounds different to me than "Just Dance". And her latest "Speechless" is almost a nod to the Beatles, I will argue (It's got a little smidge of "Something" in it). It blended right in with "Your Song" when she did it with Elton, which I think is a testament to its genius. Granted, "Speechless" is on the extended Fame Monster album, and I believe just the original The Fame was nominated.

But girlfriend can sing live. So could B and Pink. I was really impressed with the first 3 performances of the night. Taylor was paired with Stevie Nicks for crying out loud for her "American Idol Finale"-esque duet. So much potential! But neither she or Stevie pulled through.

And then, of course, the live version of THIS happened

I have to agree with another music blog I read (videogum.com) What makes the Peas think they have earned the right to a 10 minute video epic? To quote the videogum blog: this is their "November Rain". Really?

At least it explains the washing machines. Oy.

In other news: I've given up listening to music in my car for Lent. In hindsight, this may have been a poor decision for an aspiring pop-blogger. I will try my best to keep up with the times, the jams, the awful, the awesome.

Also in other news: This blog post title is appropriately named after the multiple hangovers that ensued when Laura and I were snowed in a house for two weeks with friends with nothing to do but eat, sleep, and partake in alcohol. All I can say is we truly understand Ke$ha and her outlook on life now.


Peace,
Julia

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Laura Grammys - ALBUM OF THE YEAR

SASHA FIERCE

BLACK EYED PEAS

GAGA'S THE FAME

DMB AND THE GRUGRUX KING

TAYLOR SWIFT'S FEARLESS............................


TAYLOR SWIFT WON!

I'm crying. I really am crying.

Her reaction is so sincere and grateful. She brings tears to my eyes. Do you hear me, BXsmith? This is a dream come true.

Well folks, it's been real. Thanks for your tweets!

Album of the Year or Sweet Jesus, this is the Longest Awards Show with the Least Awards Ever

Taylor Swift. Well done. Can I go to bed now?

My heart hurts a little for Gaga.

This was pretty fun, kids! What will be our next live blog venture, I wonder?

Looking forward to blogs to come. But right now I'm looking for my pillow and my painkillers...

Peace,
-J

Julia's Live Blog of the 90s Retro Love Fest

I've taken a hint from Laura's loopy post headings. She's a funny girl, that LVD.

You know what else is funny? Quentin Tarrentino announcing Drake and his relevance. Hilarious.

11:13 Either our sound went out, or Lil' Wayne just dropped a minutes worth of F bombs.

11:14 I love Eminem. Dear Lil Wayne, Get your PANTS OFF THE GROUND!

11:15 Drake, I can't tell if you are a legit artist or not because all I hear is auto tune. More Eminem, please! Thank you :)

11:18 Fail, CBS. Yes, rappers swear, but not for 3 minutes straight. Censor guy was a little trigger happy there...

Homestretch? Now? Maybe?

Laura Grammys - Eminem, Drake, Lil Wayne

11:13 Is Quentin Tarantino speaking in (dare I say it) Ebonics?

11:13 I'm so excited to see this performance.

Lil Wayyyyne and some auto tune.

11:13 Profanity or sound problems? Big sound problems? Profanity paragraphs?

11:14 Marry me, Eminem. Turns out Caleb Followill is an alcoholic.

I love how he still brings the energy. Mental note number 2: Eminem entry.

11:16 I love that Jamie Foxx is singing along and recording this performance.

11:16 So is T. Swizzie!!

11:17 Eminem. Marshall Mathers. Slim Shady. You are skilled. And I love the energy that he brings to every single project he does. The guy has officially "made it" and he still raps like he's hungry for it. Respect.

Grammy Laura's. I mean... yep.

I love you, Les Paul. And I love the electric solidbody guitar.

11:04 Ooo, and I love you Jeff Beck. Forget the girl with the bad hair.

11:05 Betting the fug girls are slamming the girl with the bad hair. Although I like her retro voice.

Laura Grammys - Maxwell performance.

10:55 I'm shoving a slice of pizza in my mouth. This is exhausting. Stay with us, followers. All six of you.

Maxwell, you're dancing.

10:57 Oooh, the lights in the shape of a flapping bird while he's singing "pretty wings". Stop it. Just stop.

10:58 Roberta Flack. I'm so tired of writing about how many retro nods are going on. They could have titled this years Grammys:

"2010: Something Old, Something New"

"2010: Relevant People, and People We Forgot About"

"2010: A look back on a few decades because we're beginning a new one"

You at least could've given us some warning.

HOME STRETCH- Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

Must. Stay Awake. 10 more minutes...where's my vicodin? It might make things more interesting at this point.

10:55 Maxwell to close the show? Please say he's closing the show. I'm closing my eyes...

10:55 love how Maxwell is just now getting he's due. He's been out as a legit artist for years. Brendan is discussing his memorable naked album cover (not Brendan's naked album cover. Maxwell's ;)

10:56 And we have "pretty wings" made of lights. More theatrics!

10:58 Roberta Flack? The American Idol finale/retroflashback continues. This is the second most awkward mash up next to MOS DEF and Domingo...

11:00 I've kind of been waiting for this In Memorium. Is that sick? Maybe. But just 'cause 2009 was the year of death. RIP Mary Travers. My parents miss you. But you live on in the make-shift sit-ins we have in our living room.

11:02 DJ AM

11:02 moment of silence for Les Paul...so glad I got to see that exhibit with LVD!

11:03 Just now realizing this thing isn't over yet...yipes. I'm getting too old for this.

11:04 Okay. Jeff Beck guitar solo. THIS is what the Grammys are about. Are you listening, Will.I.Am? I am.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog

10:40 Grammy dude just announced Adam Sandler, and the cluster**** continues. They decided to let one goofy 90s relevant guy who plays the guitar announce the other one, apparently. Cue the Dave Matthews...this one of your last acts, CBS?

10:41 And my 90's tally is now up to #451 with Dave Matthews taking the stage. I have completely re-lived all of junior high and high school memories in one night. Thanks, Grammys.

10:46 90's tally #452- Ricky Martin, ladies and gentleman. Still living that loca vida.

10:47 Funny how there have only been 4 awards actually broadcasted on this awards show

10:47 Well, B has redeemed not winning the AMA, apparently. Suck it, Kanye.

10:48 Beyonce "is nervous" that her chest will pop out of her dress is what...

Commercials are most welcome at this point, I must say...this is becoming a snoozefest.

Laura Grammy's - DMB/Female pop vocal

As a music teacher, I'm all about this "keep music in our schools".

10:41 Adam Sandler? Random.

10:42 Dave Matthews looks downright dapper.

10:43 Whoa, we've got a big band and a gospel choir backing him up. This is one of the most polished performances of the evening. The energy in this room has got to be crazy. They are having a blast and Dave, whether or not you are sick of him, is a career performer. The voice on that man. The skills. Well done.

10:46 RICKY MARTIN???? Shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon...
Lea Michelle is beautiful.

BEST FEMALE POP VOCAL PERFORMANCE

Congrats, Beyonce, for Halo winning. You deserve it, as far as vocal chops go. Katy Perry, it is a joke that you were even nominated. Taylor, you're a good writer, but come on. In one song, Beyonce hits a low E flat AND uses her head voice. All seamlessly. And who can forget the riff that she does on "shining through my darkest NIiiiiggggggggghhhhhhht". This one was deserved. Go B!

I should also mention, Beyonce and I are born just a few days apart. And she grew up singing in the United Methodist church. Go Team!

The obvious conclusion is, someday I, too, will be winning many Grammys.

Grammies.

Grammy's.

Anyway.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

Okay, home stretch kids. This live blogging thing is tougher than I thought!

10:26 Bridge Over Troubled Water in Italian for the Haiti tribute. Of course.
Where's Simon and Garfunkel? And don't they know Van Duzer and Strukely are the next Simon and Garfunkel...

10:27 Mary J. bringing it as always. love her. She's so real. When she cries, I cry. And I don't cry alot. But she does. So it all balances out.

10:28 I may call it- this is my favorite performance of the night. Or maybe I'm just so over-stimulated I am just happy to hear something that I know is for sure classified as music.

Laura Grammys -Bridge Over Troubled Water

I LOVE WYCLEF JEAN. VIVA LA FUGEES.

The haitian cecilians. or whatever it is you say in that song of yours.

10:25 : Wyclef, please translate what you said to us in Creole.

David Foster*, Mary J Blige, and Andrea Boccelli. This sounds epic. I'm clapping already.

10:27 Bridge over Troubled Water, kind of cool in Italian. My voice teacher would be proud.

10:27 Mary J. I really like your covers lately. Starting with the U2 song you're covering nowadays. Secondly, bridge over Troubled water fits your stylings. You're super tasteful but always show off your chops. I'd like to apologize to you on behalf of the People's Choice Awards sound engineers. They didn't do justice to your awesome instrument. Thank goodness the Grammys sound guys know their stuff.

10:30 Two high notes hit. One by Boccelli, one by Blige. Two very very different sets of technique. Bocelli is opening up his mask resonance and reaching up into his passagio's extension. Mary J Blige is putting it in her nose and is grinding it out like a rockstar. Somehow, it works together. #musicnerd.

*Thank you to Brendan Smith who corrected me on this last name.

Laura Grammys - Rap/Sung Collaboration

Ego - Beyonce and Kanye West

Run This Town

I'm on a Boat

Dead and Gone

and it goes to...


RUN THIS TOWN Jay z Rihanna and Kanye West.

Well done. (Although Still tickled that "on a boat" was nominated.) Words cannot describe my love for Jay-Z. Separate entry to come on this subject.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

10:16 Mos Def and Placedo Domingo. MOSt DEFinitely MOSt awkward moment thus far.

Laura Grammys - Bon Jovi

To reiterate, nobody told Julia and me tonight was 90's night. But Bon Jovi has remained pretty attractive.

10:11 "Who says you can't go home" w/ the gal from Sugarland (question mark?) I've seen you live, baby, and you're awesome. Too bad this is in Bon Jovi's key and not yours.

10:12 Although Kudos to her for hitting those low notes. Again, love the 3 part harmony. I'm predictable that way.

10:14 Shocker that we voted for "Livin on a Prayer". This concert is getting a little exhausting. Although I'm gonna pull a Michael Weinberg here and say that this song is not in the original key. I'm gonna say go ahead and say it's at least a whole step lower.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

10:08 That Taylor Swift/Michael Jackson combo took a lot out of me...this better be good, Sheryl Crow...I like your earrings...

10:09 Just decided I'm voting for this damn Bon Jovi song they are plugging...fine, CBS, you got me. Even though I KNOW it's going to be Living on A Prayer. "Always" all the way...

10:10 and...CBS.com is moving too slow to vote. RIGGED. I'm onto you, CBS...

10:11 I just told everyone who Jennifer Nill (?) is. That's right, ME. The anti-country person (she's from Sugarland, btw. You're welcome. And her voice annoys the crap out of me. I'm pretty sure that's why I know who she is)

10:13 And everyone is on edge...which song is it going to be??? Living on a Prayer. Shocking.

10:14 Richie Sambora with the auto-tune before auto-tune was auto-tune.

10:15 We all want to know...is this the orginal key, Jon?? We think not. We hear at least a half step lower. Truth bomb. #musicnerds

10:16 Anti-climactic, CBS. Not going to lie. But I will still sing it at karaoke and during Rock Band.

Laura Grammys - Earth Song

Julia and I both agree that Lionel Ritchie plugging "This is it" out on DVD is tacky. We've probably both written it.

This had better be huge.

Celine Dion, I do love you. You still inspire the 12 year old girl that lives inside me.

Usher.

Carrie Underwood. Your dress is awesome.

Jennifer Hudson. Your voice is awesome. Carrie, yours is too, but your dress is way cute.

Smokey Robinson. Did not recognize you. Have you had work done?

9:58 Loving the stars in 3-D glasses and formalwear, even if it is a bit obnoxious that we have to see the faint blue and red outlines on our 2-D screen.

9:59 YES Jennifer Hudson. This song is in Michal Jackson's key, and yours.

10:00 Michael Jackson gets a standing ovation. That was pretty cool, albeit a little Fern Gully.

Michael Jackson's son accepting this award was the most captivating moment of this entire awards show so far. It was the first time Julia's and my fingers stopped tapping and we were glued to the screen.

You're missed, MJ.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

9:46 Taylor Swift time. AND... STEVIE NICKS! Holy crap...I am starting to understand and love this retro-ness now. Though, I also kind of feel like this is an American Idol finale. Anyone?

9:48 I was wondering why Taylor was wearing just a big flowy tunic...now I understand. Though she didn't do the spin.

9:49 Taylor is not the best live, but she's cute and can write.

9:50 What is that mini-banjo? And where can I get one?

9:51 haha- tweet from @Pasty: "It must be really easy to get dressed if you're Stevie Nicks. Same thing every day. It's like a uniform!" Truth. Mental note...

9:52 It must feel hella cool to have Stevie Nicks sing your song.

9:52 Lionel Richie! "All night long...all night long"

9:52 Cue Michael Jackson tribute...get out the tissues....

9:53 DVD plug? LVD and I say in unison: "Tacky"

9:54 LOVE EARTH SONG. Makes me think of my friend Mike Kenney singing it at karaoke to a giraffe

9:55 I'm going to refrain from making mean Michael Jackson comments. That whole respecting the dead thing...I do have some decorum.

9:56 Where are MY 3-D glasses, CBS?

9:57 Celine Dion?! Haven't seen her since 1992. Again with the 90's...

9:57 Brendan: "What is this, a PBS special?"

9:57 Carrie Underwood looks cute. LOVE Jennifer Hudson. Wish I could see her in 3-D, CBS!

9:58 3D glasses look normal on Rihanna. Just saying.

9:59 What does it mean when Michael Jackson's kids were the best part of that tribute with Celine, Usher, and Smokey on the stage? Can I say that? Too soon?

Laura on the Grammys - Taylor Swift

"Today was a Fairy Tale"

Taylor, I hate to say it because you're a good writer, and a good person.

You're a little flat live. Sorry, John Meehan. Truth bouillions. She IS improving. I've seen some live performances that were painful.

Stevie Nicks and Taylor Swift- Julia is again writing about the retro-ness of tonight.

9:50 I'm laughing out loud at Stevie Nicks singing backup to "You Belong With Me".

9:51 STEVIE NICKS IS PLAYING THE TAMBOURINE IN TAYLOR'S BAND! Shake-a slap-a...

I do like that they re-styled this song. It's a risky choice but it makes it not so familiar.

Laura on the Grammys -rock album, zac brown performance

Best Rock Album:

Katy Perry, your dress is horrible and your demeanor irks my very being.

I feel uneducated in this Rock Album category, but congrats to Green Day. I'm jealous of you having shots with Kings of Leon.

Loving Leon Russel's blues piano. And Zac Brown Band sounds stronger while they're harmonizing. But they're growing on me.

9:39 Helloooooo, bluegrass roots! Zac Brown just broke out into a crazy picking bluegrass jam session at the end of this song, and it was RIDICULOUS and SKILLFUL.

I'm in, Zac Brown. I'm in.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

9:32 Katy Perry is helping Alice Cooper walk or vice versa? I can't tell. Either way, she should not be on the stage and should stop talking.

9:33 It's the night of Green Day apparently. And can we talk again about how they had a musical? So out of the loop on that one.

9:34 Yeah, Chris O'Donnell! It IS the 90s!!!!!

9:35 Zac Brown Band. Best New Artist apparently. And all they could come up with was the Star Spangled Banner? Or America the Beautiful, rather. Either way...not NEW.

9:36 I've never heard of Leon Russell, but I think I'm in love...

Laura's Grammies - Jamie Foxx

Robert Downey Junior just announced an opera performance, and it's Jamie Foxx.

AUTO TUNE CITY.

9:22 My roommate Natalie gasps as the auto-tune cuts out for a moment and we hear Jamie Foxx "speaking" along to his song.

The question is raised "shouldn't they have to do things live at the grammys?"

SLASH WITH JAMIE FOXX? playing November Rain? Julia is currently writing something about how this years grammy's are a nineties tribute.

not the best.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

9:18 Norah Jones doesn't even look like herself. Yeah, Ringo!

9:18 Record of the Year. OMG if BEP win, I will vomit.

9:19 This is a toss up...nail biting...

9:19 CHEERS! CHEERS! Victory! Kings of Leon!

9:19 Fergie is being a gracious loser and giving a standing O. Brendan: "There's no way that piece of sh** song would've won". Couldn't of said it better

9:19 Kings of Leon must've heard about the weekend we had...their entire speech was about drinking. Eh, it happens.

9:20 And...the Grammys is all about the theatrics tonight. What the hell...opera singers? Vikings?...JAMIE FOXX? Oh, NOW I get it...(???)

9:21 Johnny D: "I love how you can hear them switch on the auto tune"...

9:23 Natalie is scandalized by the lack of singing. Sadly, I am not.

9:23 Johnny D: "Oh, no! They let T Pain off the boat!"

9:24 All of us are confused as to what is live singing/beatboxing/whathaveyou and what is not. It's kind of a cluster....

9:24 SLASH!?@

9:25 November Rain?! Green Day? Alanis?! IT IS 90's Tribute night? Where's my flannel...

9:25 WOW. That was worse than the Peas.

9:26 Ke$ha! Beiber! haha! She TOTALLY brushed her teeth with Jack today. And maybe she took my vicodin as well.

9:27! Phew! I need a break after that...

Commercial Break 2!

Laura is explaining the difference between Song of the Year and Record of the Year (I still can't believe Beyonce won for song...grrr...and I'm still analyzing the Alanis bit...)

Laura: "For example, if Julia and I wrote a song, but recorded it with Brendan, Julia and I would win for 'Song of the Year' and Brendan and I would win for 'Record'."

YES. Indeed. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN!

Laura Grammys - Best Record

Let's review the difference between Best Song and Best Record, shall we?

Song of the Year is a songwriter's award, it goes to the ppl that wrote the song, which sometimes is the artist, and sometimes is not. Record is about the engineering and the track itself This award goes to the artist, the people that recorded, mixed, and mastered the track. I'm educating the people in my apartment about it.

Think best "raw song" versus "best track".

oo Norah Jones looks cute. Ringo looks old.

NOMINEES FOR RECORD OF THE YEAR

beyonce halo

i gotta feeling black eyed peas

use somebody kings of leon YES YES YES YES THIS ONE

pokerface lady gaga

you belong w/ me taylor swift....


and the grammy goes to...


USE SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

Caleb Followill is a gorgeous gorgeous man. Apparently I say the word "dreamboat" when I'm drunk. And Caleb, you're drunk too. Surprise surprise. So I'll go ahead and call you a dreamboat.

I'm so glad Kings of Leon won Record of the Year! It was overplayed, yet amazing. And i think the fact that it was so overplayed speaks a lot for the mass appeal the track had. It was well made and tasteful.

Well done! I can go to bed a happy girl, and it has nothing to do with the two-hour snow delay tomorrow.

Laura Grammys - Comedy album

Comedy Albums. Yawn.

Congrats, Stephen Colbert, you have a Grammy.

So does Obama, and Al Gore. For reading their books on tape. Question mark?

Give me MUSIC!

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

9:05 When did the Jonas' Bros go through puberty? Still don't get them. Maybe because I'm 28.

9:06 Lady Antabellum (sp?) yeah, i can't comment. I can't even spell their name. I will just sit and educate myself.

9:06 I've decided I do like this song.

9:07 Question. Why is their name Lady Antabellum if there are dudes in the band? Is that too gender traditional of me? Is SHE Lady Antabellum?

9:08 I'm so confused. I need Laura to educate me on this. But that was a good song.

9:09 Best Comedy Album? I suppose I can't really comment on this either

9:10 Who am I kidding? I can comment on anything. Weird Al is still alive?

9:10 I do love me some Kathy Griffin.

9:10 "Oh my God, Stephen Colbert has a Grammy"- Johnny D.

Laura on teh Gramies - Jonas Bros introduce Lady Antebellum

9:05 - Do I know who Lady Antebellum is? I think not.

9:05 - Oh, you're a country singer.

Kind of cool with the scrim theatre thing. Brendan Smith is going nuts because he is rooting for this country music pop crossover. :)

Three part harmony. Yes.


9:07 "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need youuuu now".

Amen.

9:08 The guy singer could be pop if he wanted to. The girl is irreversably country.

Laura on the Grammy's (the apostrophe is a gag now.) Black Eyed Peas

Hahaha, Julia is a Black Eyed Peas hater and she just admitted she kind of likes this song "I'mma Be".

8:55 Much confusion over what the title of this song is. "I'm a beat?" "I'm a bee?"

8:56 BRENDAN SMITH (@bxsmith): "I just found out that Will- I-Am spells William!"

8:57 ooooooo "I Gotta Feelin" - Autotune on the mic!

I have to say, this performance is crazy and energetic. But after we've seen Gaga incinerated, and Beyonce with her army of droids, and Pink spin above our heads, it feels just meh to me.

8:58 I changed my mind. They have dancing boomboxes. Or washing machines, according to natalie.

Learn how to use a mic, Fergie. You're doing the "gangsta lean" with it and it's missing your mouth, and the sound is cutting in and out. This is amateur stuff right here. Come on. You're standing still.

Julia's Live Grammy Blog!

8:54 Miley- who are you talking to? Who will be posting and talking? You look more and more like Lindsay Lohan everyday...

8:55- IMMA BE. Imma be making fun of Fergie and her visor.

8:56 Sound just went out for a minute. Probably better that way.

8:56 Brendan just found out Will.I.Am spells William. Welcome to 2003, Brendan.

8:57 Oh, sh** just got real. Tonight's gonna be a...night where I wear my boots with my 'puter, Johnny D, thank you very much. I won't be smashing anything.

8:58: Julia: "what are those" (a la robot back up dancers) Natalie: "they look like Washing machines from here!"

8:59 And...it's over. Hopefully that's the last we hear of them in 2010.

Commercial Break!

Laura just started giggling at the M & M commercial for no reason. I do not join in her appreciation for animated characters. Or for country music, apparently.

Johnny D is laughing at my "boots and 'puter" comment. Yeah, I know it sounds dirty. Didn't mean it to be so.

BLACK EYED PEAS GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!! (Target commercial)