An Open Letter to Colbie Caillat

Dear Colbie!!

I was driving to work this morning listening to "Bubbly", and I have to thank you for something HUGE!

Please ignore the exclamation points, it's just that I can't write your name in this font with little hearts to dot my i's! I feel that's the only appropriate way to address you!

Anyway, Colbie (maybe it's the cutesy "ie" at the end of your name that makes me crave excessive punctuation), I have been struggling to write songs lately! I have three or four killer hooks in my back pocket, some pretty insightful verses, but simply not enough text to create a fully fleshed-out idea!

Then the part of "Bubbly" comes on where you go: (and I quote)

Da da doom do da da da da da da
dum da da da da da da
doom da doom da do do do do do do do do do
do oo ooooh

And can I just say, you are a genius!! Little did I realize, my songs are already DONE! I just forgot about that little trick right there. It's like the musical equivalent of the white rice in a Chipotle burrito! Does it add substance? No! Does it make the song longer? YES! So thank you so much for making my job ten times easier! Not only have I instantaneously finished the five or six half-written ones I've been mulling over, I've also created THREE entirely new ones that consist completely of nonsensical syllables! And BOY ARE THEY CATCHY!

Forgive me, Colbie. You're very pretty and you're about as skilled as me on the guitar, which makes me hate that you have a record deal. (Unfortunately, for you, guitar is not my primary instrument.) Sour grapes as usual. I still love pop music (stay tuned for my discertation on "Bedrock"), slash envy you for being able to sing that "Lucky" duet with my future husband, Jason Mraz. So kudos for that! You understand, girl.

XOXO!!!

Laura