Koncerned 4 Ke$ha

I'll admit it. When my car radio first digitally told me that I was listening to 'Tik Tok' by some new artist I'd never heard of named Kesha (my car apparently does not transmit dollar signs) I tweeted my girl @lauravand immediately. It was catchy. It was funny. It was different. She talked about waking up feeling like Diddy and brushing her teeth with Jack. Clever. I could already sense the presence of a new going-out anthem that I would embrace.

Then came "Blah, Blah, Blah" and I began to get concerned. Once again our new lovable artist is sing/autotune/talk-ing about meeting her in the back with Jack, but this time, with "no pants on" (holler).

Now, I myself will never go anywhere without pants, but I'm not one to judge. I have stated my love for Lady Gaga time and again who is notoriously never wearing pants. But for some reason, it is different with Gaga. She expresses herself without pants but also with...I don't know...talent. Our girl Ke$ha does not necessarily have the latter going for her.

"Your Love is My Drug" came along and I just could not take it anymore. This girl needs my help. While, this song actually does have something artistically relevant going for it- she carries the the 'drug' metaphor successfully throughout the song:

What you've got boy, is hard to find. I think it about it all the time. I'm all strung out, boy, my heart is fried...

Is she talking about drugs? Is she talking about love? The images go pretty perfectly with each. When you can seamlessly insert both images, I believe that makes a good metaphor. (Also, I appreciate that on her album she carries the dollar sign throughout with songs like: D.I.N.O.$.A.U.R. and BACK$TABBER. If you are going to be crazy, at least be consistent, that's what I say).

But she loses the metaphor (and me) with her breakdown section where she starts talking about slumber parties in basements and beards. She has given us mature metaphors, but then suddenly we are reminded that...oh wait...this is still Ke$ha.

And why all the drug/drinking talk, girlfriend? You haven't even been famous for that long, and you won't be if you keep these habits up! Humph!

"Party at Rich Dude's House" (yes, that is a song title. I can't decide whether to applaud her for her straightforwardness and simplicity or shun her for lack of creativity. Oh wait. I've decided. The latter. $eriou$ly?!) has our heroine vomiting in closets with no pants on AGAIN.

So I am concerned for Ke$ha. I really wanted to like her. But then I listened to her cd (thanks, @PkMikeyT!) and not only does she legit sample that schoolyard song we used to taunt boys with: "there's a place in France where the naked ladies dance" (see "Take it Off"- AGAIN with the pantslessness and nakedness!), you can also sing/talk/autotune "Your Love is My Drug" over pretty much every song on that album because they all sound the same.

"Maybe I need some rehab..."- Ke$ha, Your Love is My Drug

"Maybe" is no longer an option, honey. That went out a long time ago when you sang that hook with Flo.Rida's awful song about unmentionable acts (this blog is PG). Your song, "Hungover" (YES! THIS IS A TITLE OF A TRACK! NOW YOU UNDERSTAND MY CONCERN?!) makes me want to cry for you, friend!

So let's wipe that glitter out of your eye and pull you up by your boots (and boy) strap (a title of a song I REALLY wanted to like: "Boots and Boys". Because I LIKE Boots and Boys! I do not like this song, however) and get you on the right track.

Which is nowhere near a track called "Party at Rich Dude's House" or "Hungover".

You are welcome.

Sincerely,
Julia